Gunther is not real. He cannot hurt you. There is 0 evidence that he exists and you should ignore that you saw this article. You are hallucinating that this article is a thing. Yes, that is a bird you hear.
If you look behind you, the wall is purple. The man in the corner is nice and won't hurt you. By trading him a potato chip he will give you a glass of Kool Aid.
Now, close your computer and go to sleep and this will all disappear.